I was 18 the first time I walked into a room full of amazing female musicians who came together with the purpose of furthering music around the world. I was nervous, unsure of my place, and still figuring out who I was as a musician and a young woman.
That’s where I met Kay.
She had the most contagious laugh and a smile that would welcome anyone… she filled the room with presence, warmth, and wisdom. I had no idea how deeply she’d shape my path when I first met her. It wasn’t an immediate connection, but as time and life continued, we fell into a very special friendship. After having my kids, I spent time away from performing, and of course, I got a little rusty:) She offered to coach me when I was hired to sing as the soprano soloist for a local presentation of Handel’s Messiah.
As a mom of young kids, they came with me everywhere. She was gracious and told me to bring them along. She said, “Don will play with your boys while we work.” Don was a wonderful, supportive husband and had a great time playing with the boys, teaching them old-fashioned games, and letting them splash their little toes in his beloved jacuzzi. And just like that, we were friends for life.
The Call to Adventure
Earlier this year, I got a message that Kay’s health was declining. It was such a shock to me because I had dinner with her just a couple of months earlier, and she was in great health. I quickly made the trip to see her, and she was not the same Kay I had dinner with just a month or two earlier. She had moments of lucidness and moments where she didn’t know where she was. She always walked me to the door when I visited her home, and she tried to do so on this day. But I insisted that I could see myself out. Then came the call a few days later: she had passed, and I was asked to help fulfill her final wishes.
For years, Kay would tell me what she wanted me to sing, and then she would change her mind, LOL! There were so many great choices, but she chose: Pie Jesu for me and O Divine Redeemer for Gail. She knew exactly what she wanted, and it was the perfect choice.
I didn’t know how I would hold it together. But I knew I had to try.
The Journey
The morning of her memorial, the sanctuary was still. Sunlight filtered through the beautiful large windows like it knew something sacred was about to happen.
I stood up to sing. My hands trembled just a little, but I took a few low breaths and took my time before the first note left my body. It really felt like an out-of-body experience, and I knew she was there, smiling with her bright eyes.
Then Gail sang so expressively that tears started to form in my eyes. I knew I had to hold it together because I still had to help with the Sigma Alpha Iota Memorial ceremony. The sisters of Sigma Alpha Iota gathered around to symbolically return Kay’s rose to the silver plate. A final gift. A tradition she cherished. And a moment that I have always cherished as a sister.
I held myself together until the end… But when we sang the SAI Chorale, something inside me broke open. The tears came, and I didn’t fight them. I took a few deep breaths to allow myself to at least squeak out some sort of music from my body. Was it the most intune I have sung? No, but music isn’t about being perfect; it’s about connecting with others and yourself in a sacred moment in time, and we all felt that on that day.
Music tells our life stories. And Kay will forever be a part of mine.
Deanna’s Notes
• Music is more than notes – It’s connection. It’s meaning. It’s our memories.
• Grief isn’t weakness – It’s love with nowhere to go but out.
• Legacy isn’t always loud – Sometimes it’s a whisper that lasts longer than a roar.
• Honor people while they’re here – But also, sing them home when the time comes.
Kay’s Obituary
Kathryn “Kay” E. Schmaus, of Winter Park, FL., passed away November 14, 2024. She was born in 1938 in Lebanon, Indiana. To Horace and Ivy (Sloan) Peabody. In 1956, she graduated from Lebanon High School. She attended college at Ball State University where she was a member of Sigma Kappa Sorority and Sigma Alpha Iota International music fraternity for women. She was also in the concert choir and the Ball State Symphony. In her junior year at BSU, she was one of the top ten women in the Miss BSU contest. In her senior year, she received the Performer’s Certificate for her vocal performance with the BSU Orchestra, and she was also soloist with the Muncie Symphony. She graduated in 1961 with a B.S. in Music Education.
She did further vocal studies at the Eastman School of Music of the University of Rochester, and in 1966 won 1st place in the District Metropolitan Opera Auditions.
Kay married Don Schmaus in 1961 and they moved to Syracuse, NY. In Syracuse, she taught voice at Onondaga Community College and was a member of the Corinthian Club. Then in 1973 she and her husband moved to Winter Park, Florida.
She was heard in operas, oratorios, and vocal chamber music concerts, with symphony musicians as well as in the premiers of modern music of area composers in Syracuse and Central Florida. Kay and Don moved to Central Florida in 1973, where she continued to sing extensively.
Kay was also a member of PEO, Chapter EJ-EW of Winter Park, FL.
Pre-deceased by her husband, Don, she is survived by her beloved son and family, Steve Schmaus, wife Ginger of Deltona FL. Also leaves behinds grandchildren, Rachel, Luke, and Caleb of Central Florida. She is also survived by her beloved son, Paul, and partner Nicole, of Aubrey, TX.
She also leaves behind her sister, Jane Peabody of Pewaukee, Wisconsin. Along with many nephews and nieces.
The service celebrating Kay’s life was held Saturday June 28, 2025 at 11:00am at the First Congregational Church of Winter Park, 225 S. Interlachen Ave., Winter Park, FL. 32789.
Memorials may be sent to the First Congregational Church, to PEO scholarship fund, or to your favorite no-kill animal rescue shelter.
The Return with Insight
Singing for Kay wasn’t just about honoring her life. It reminded me that music is sacred, holds the things we can’t say, and gives shape to goodbye.
She shaped the kind of musician I’ve become. Not just with technique, but with tenderness and boldness.
She taught me to listen to my inner voice, show up fully, and enjoy the music.
Closing Reflection
When I think of Kay now, I hear her beautiful voice, I remember the handwritten cards she would send me in the mail just because. But most of all I remember her wonderful laugh, her soft smile, and encouraging eyes.
She’s part of my story, and always will be.
Who’s the person that helped shape your voice or path?
Maybe it’s time to reach out.
Related Links
- Learn more about Sigma Alpha Iota and their legacy of sisterhood: SAI International Music Fraternity
- Florida PEO
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conversations you wish you never heard? Well here is where your choice of prelude music can set the tone for your day. Instead of awkward silence as your wedding vibe, you can choose a romantic or sentimental vibe to greet your guests. You will typically need to choose between 5 -10 songs to fill a time frame ranging from 20 minutes to 45 minutes.
Long, long ago in a time far, far away, my husband, who is a Star Wars fanatic asked if he could walk down the aisle to the Star Wars theme. I being the musician, carefully chose the music at my wedding. My childhood piano teacher (she played the piano and sang for my wedding ceremony) also helped me with music selections because, like most of you, it was my first time planning a wedding. Even as a musician, I had questions and I relied on the advice of my piano teacher to guide me through the process because she had performed at weddings numerous times. We also did not have the luxury of the internet to do research by reading blogs or going on YouTube 🤪 So what does this mean for you? You can use this time in the ceremony to personalize it to your taste and personality.
During this time, you can choose a special song that plays while during the unity ceremony, just remember that this is typically a short ceremony. You can choose something that will play only during this time and end when you are finished or you can have the music continue and the two of you can listen until the song is finished. If you choose not to do a unity ceremony, you can have a musician play or sing a special song that is meaningful to both of you. Or you can do both options! Choose a song for the unity ceremony and choose another song to highlight your love as a couple or as two families become one.
Okay, let’s bring this home, literally! The Recessional is your awesome and amazing exit as a newly married couple. You have completed your matrimony ceremony, unity ceremony, and anything else you wanted to add and now it is time to celebrate your union go party! The recessional music can be 1 – 2 songs. You will have a special song played or sung as you are announced to your guests and then happily walk down the aisle together. You can either continue with the same song as your bridal party exits or you can choose a different song for your bridal party. The size of the room and the number of guests will determine how many songs are needed for your recessional.
